This nickname thing is harder than it looks. Everyone I asked liked a different name best. I did, however, manage to narrow the list down to five top vote-getters that appeared on multiple ballots, so I’m going to turn it over to you all to settle things with a good old fashioned polling.
Just so’s you know how we narrowed things down, here is the saga of how I tried to gain consensus:
I asked friend of the blog Jay Busbee to weigh in on the nicknames, seeing as how he shares a first name and last initial with Mr. Bruce. Senor Busbee is currently in the midst of authoring a book about the Atlanta Braves, and blogs about racin’ over at Yahoo. Here are his top three choices as well as some free one-liners about the also-rans.
#1. The Deal—You know what? I dig this one best. It’s one of those new nicknames that’s not a pun, not directly connected to anything specific, and yet instantly memorable.
#2 Poppin’ Jay—Goofy enough to stick.
#3 Jay Jay the Jet Plane—The cross-marketing possibilities are endless.
Jay Bruise—I’d shorten this one to just “The Bruise”
The Beaumont Bruiser—Sounds like a state-fair wrestler.
Jay “The Bruce” – tribute to the movie Braveheart. Just saw that flick last night, but nobody’s gonna get this one.
The Spruce Bruce—Save this one for when he’s 40 and 280lbs.
Bruce Stool (because the Reds nation wishes to sit their future upon him – whatevs)—Sounds proctological
The Texas Tornado—See “Beaumont Bruiser” above
The Boss, apparently supported by Baseball America—Well, they blew up Riverfront in Cincy last night, now they blew up the roster too…
Jay “Don’t Bring Me Down” Bruce (an amateur Bermanism)—So bad it’s good
Jay-B—No. I own the copyright on this one.
Earl—Needs a “karma” list for all the pitchers he dusts.
The Cincinnati Bowtie—Sounds like a maneuver someone would try when his girlfriend was really drunk.
The Hammer—Hank Aaron might have something to say about that.
Sweet list. My choices are:
1. Mighty Moose — I don’t even know if it makes sense or if it works, but if Bruce doesn’t get it, I’m stealing it. I heart Mighty Mouse and I’m a fan of moose(es? meeses?) as well. Just a superb nickname.
2. Jay-B — It seems obvious but somehow it’s not. I love any and all rap references.
3. (On that note…my write in vote) the Jibba. It’s like Jay-B, but more slangy. I can’t tell if it sounds cool enough though.
4. Bruce Almighty — I have a feeling this will end up sticking regardless of who actually wants it. (/shakes fist at Berman)
I love “The Jibba”. Too bad judges can’t enter the contest. My choices are as follows:
1. The Show – This one could really backfire if he blows chunks in the majors, but it’s still a cool nickname.
2. Poppin’ Jay – I know this one is a play on words, but I actually like it. It breaks the stale pattern baseball nicknames have been in recently. It rolls off the tongue.
3. The Deal – Not bad, but hard to imagine people shouting it, or announcers using it as he strides to the plate. But I like the spirit of it.
4 (honorable mention). Bam Bam – This one came in after I had sent the list off to the other judges, but I liked it a lot. I ranked it a bit lower because I haven’t been overwhelmed by Bruce’s hammer as much as his overall game: the steals, the walks, all of it.
After those votes, I had a deadlock – both The Deal and Poppin’ Jay had four points. So I turned to Sooze from Babes Love Baseball. She picked… a whole bunch of others.
1. beaumont bruiser
2. the boss
3. the cincinnati bowtie