Posts Tagged ‘Monkey Boy’

The Long, Winding Road To Complete Nerd-dom

“You know, they have Monkey Boy bobbleheads for sale out front.”

Those were the words uttered by my friend Allison in the eighth inning of the Nashua Pride game last night.  She and her boyfriend, Cody, had just returned from an excursion around the ballpark with my son.  Holman Stadium is not that big, and they had found themselves on the main concourse.  Their reason for being there is unimportant: what matters is that Allison happened to see Monkey Boy, that evening’s special guest, signing autographs.  And she saw the bobbleheads.

Now, Allison is not particularly supportive of my bobblehead habit.  I bought one of Jeff Giuliano, a Nashua native who plays for the Los Angeles Kings, last week.  When the glue holding the spring gave way and the head fell almost completely off, she laughed for a full ten minutes.  But being a good friend, she knew that this was something I would enjoy, so she mentioned it.

My eyes lit up.  My wife’s face fell.  She also does not condone my bobblehead habit.

“I need to check this out,” I told her.  “I need to at least find out how much they are.”

The line was at least 75 people long and composed almost entirely of parents and small children.  It was surprisingly light on sketchy guys in their late twenties.  I wasn’t interested in an autograph or anything, so I wandered up to the head of the line, where they happened to be unwrapping bobbleheads before my very eyes.  I decided to approach a Pride employee who was standing near the table.

“Hey, I have a quick question.  How much are the bobbleheads?”

“Six dollars.”

I withdrew ten or fifteen feet to regroup and survey the line.  Still a ton of people.  Not worth waiting that long for a bobblehead.  Maybe…

“Hey, sorry, I have one more question.  Do I have to wait in line to buy a bobblehead or can I just grab one and pay for it right now, real quick?”

He looked at another employee, the one who was pulling the bobbleheads out of a bag.  She gave the okay, so I pulled my money out and handed it over.  I figured they give me an unopened box, but the guy sort of looked at me funny and I got the feeling that I was supposed to just grab one of the opened ones on the table and be on my way.

That’s when it happened: Monkey Boy picked up a bobblehead, looked at me, and made a scribbling motion with the pen in his hand.

“Want him to sign it?” someone said.

In that one moment, I went from a nerd who hopped to the front of the line to make a quick bobblehead purchase to the nerd who cut a line filled with kids to buy a bobblehead and have it signed.  That’s like seven notches higher on the nerd scale, folks. 

Monkey Boy signed my bobblehead and I got out of there as fast as I possibly could.  Back to my seat, where the first thing I saw was the “What the hell” look on my wife’s face at the sight of a small monkey clutched firmly in my left hand.  She softened somewhat when I told her the price; she softened a lot when our son decided it was the greatest thing he had ever seen and almost leapt from her seat to mine to get it.  I had to put it in his diaper bag to keep it away from him.

Oh yeah: the Pride lost, 8-1, after giving up six runs in the eighth inning.  And I still don’t know what the deal is with Davilia’s number 11.